Communicate. That’s the biggest and best first thing you can ever do. Whether it be with a teacher, sibling, friend, parent or even a counselor. Being able to communicate is the first step to your life getting better. It doesn’t have to be even talking; it can be a letter or email or text…let people know what’s going on in your life, your thoughts and emotions.
People can and will help you, you just need to search them out. Oh and one last thing, never EVER let someone bring you down. You’re you, and you is always good enough. Never stray from who you are because you never know who will come along and want and love “you”.
do you ever ache to tell the whole truth?
Let whatever you do today be enough. Let go of the judgement you have about what you should be or could be doing, and today, allow yourself to simply be. I know that it’s so hard not to compare yourself and your journey, but it gets you nowhere. It makes you feel worse and it keeps you stuck. So stop fixating on where everyone else is, and start giving yourself permission to be exactly where you are. Quiet the voice telling you to do more and be more, and trust that in this moment, who you are, where you are at, and what you are doing is enough. You will get to where you need to be in your own time. Until then, breathe. Breathe and be patient with yourself and your process. You are doing the best you can to cope and survive amid your struggles, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough. You are enough.
Things that matter are not easy. Feelings of happiness are easy. Happiness is not. Flirting is easy. Love is not. Saying you’re friends is easy. Being friends is not.
Anytime you’re gonna grow, you’re gonna lose something. You’re losing what you’re hanging onto to keep safe. You’re losing habits that you’re comfortable with, you’re losing familiarity.
On the face of it, language may seem innocent enough—nothing but a passive and transparent means of communication: a convenient way to transmit a “message” from one person to another. Yet closer inspection reveals that language involves much more than this; language actively creates social worlds, identities and relationships. It does not passively reflect on a pre-given world, but actively fashions it according to historical conventions. And, as Pierre Bourdieu points out, language also reproduces social relations of dominance and inequality; it is intimately bound to the production of subalternity: to the making of social relationships which are structured in dominance.
they took my fingernails first. i liked them
magnetic blue, shock-treatment orange, i
liked them statement full-stops like my fingers
were sentences and my knuckles were
commas and the second boy i kissed but
the first that i dated told me idly one evening
he thought they looked ugly, too bold, less like
traffic cones and more like cracked sidewalks,
he said that they stood out in the worst possible way, so
the next day i showed up with clear nail polish
then it was my hair when the first time i felt
my heart break like an avalanche, like a rock slide,
in tiny bits and then everything all at once and all
of a sudden until i was suffocating and my
brain felt heavy and even though my hair
touched the back of my knees and i had worn
it proudly, i couldn’t stand the idea of his fingers
through it, i felt like every knot was a birdcage where
memories were hidden so
i chopped it off and felt lighter for an instant
but could never wear it out of my face, ever again
not without feeling exposed and ready to come
then went my thighs because one boy said
i spilled over like sunday prayers, then my hips
when a girl i kissed wouldn’t stop playing with
the fat on them, then my shins and ribs and
one million other things until i was all husk
and no matter at all, i was in skin that felt
uneven, like there was sand underneath it
and i kissed people and gave them my body
because it didn’t even feel like i was in charge
of it - and i kissed a boy and when he said i should
start to work out again, i did not cry, just
do not give over the smallest change for them.
it will make it impossible to say no when it comes
to the big things. you were born beautiful and
lovely and with seaglass in your irises. find
someone who will nibble on your highlighter
fingertips and say “it looks like you wear m&m’s”
someone who will find joy in the little things and in your
flaws, finds perfection.
do not give yourself to them. your body and soul
are one thing. you must be as kind to yourself as you are
to a kitten. you house life, you house light, you are purple
through red -
find someone who wouldn’t
alter a single hair on your head.
if they want you to change, they don’t really want
to be with you. they want to be with someone who’s
not quite like you. love yourself enough
that you would not pretend for a lifetime that
you are someone else entirely.
There is a perception that speaking up for boundaries is somehow introducing conflict into a situation, or at very least, escalating it in an unkind way, like, everything was fine until you spoke up for your needs and now you made it weird. But not speaking up is not making the situation better, it’s just giving the other person more license to operate and communicating that you are okay with the behavior. There is no prize for being the world’s most stoic and accommodating person. A friendship that cannot survive a the momentary discomfort of you standing up for your needs is not actually a friendship worth holding onto.
Nobody loves being told that they are screwing up, obviously, but if you don’t have the ability to ever take any negative feedback along the lines of “Hey, could you not do that one thing anymore, thanks?” from a friend, YOU are the problem. When told that they are stepping on someone’s foot, good adult people will apologize and get off the foot and not perpetuate a FEELINGSDUMP about their need to really stand on feet sometimes. Communicating “Hey, that’s where my boundary is, thanks” IS KINDNESS. It is giving the other person the tools they need to be in a good relationship with you.